The Art of Small Talk

Is it worth it to spend the time to learn the art of small talk? Tidbit conversations are often boring. Granted, you may just be trying to pass the time, so why make a big deal with words? But it's also possible that the random person you're talking is a potential pal or a business partner! You must know how to elevate small talk to an art if you want to make sure you don't miss out on the benefits of social relationships.

Consider the following tips:

• Be interesting - move beyond talking about the weather!

  When approaching a stranger, generic topics like the weather or the scenery are often conversation starters. Nothing wrong with this; they are safe topics everyone can speak about. But if you want to master the art of small talk, make sure you can move beyond the ho-hums.

  Be interesting! Anything about the other person can stir curiosity - their outfit, pair of glasses, even the snack he or she is munching on. Try to engage the person on something they can formulate an opinion on, or offer an educated view. Ask intelligent questions. If you can present some personality, the conversation becomes more engaging and animated.

• Avoid controversial topics.

  The art of small talk is what the term implies: small conversation you can use as you establish rapport, introduce your business, or strike an initial friendship. You want to present your best foot forward, and set the foundation for a more substantial second meeting. This means you have to be careful not to offend.

  So avoid issues that may spur a combative debate or grandiose lectures; the person you're talking to might just feel irritated or awkward! Steer clear too of issues people generally have strong feelings for, like money, religion, race or politics. If you break off in a heated argument, you can say goodbye to that next appointment.

• Don't get intimate.

  The art of small talk isn't just about knowing what to say - it's also about knowing about what not to talk about. If two people can only engage in small talk, it generally means either of two things: they don't know each other well yet, or the context is not conducive to intimate, heart-to-heart conversations. So don't ask about your pal's recent divorce, or how his cold turkey from nicotine is going. Know your boundaries.

• Be Enthusiastic - Yet Real.

  Be enthusiastic when the person responds. Even if you're unfamiliar about the theme, be gracious enough to admit that you're not knowledgeable about the topic! By doing so, he or she will appreciate your honesty and will offer his or her view readily.

• Exit gracefully.

  If things don't work out well - if there are too many long pauses or awkward moments - don't fret! Just learn to say goodbye respectfully and show how you appreciate the other person's presence. You can't always sweep people off their feet at first blush. Take heart, there may still be another opportunity.

By learning some quick tips, you may just be able to say that you have mastered the art of small talk in no time!

Small talk resources

• More tips to master the art of small talk